Hello again. I hope you’re hanging in there. It took me a long time to sit down to write this post. In truth, I knew I was going to be writing about the roller coaster of emotions we’re experiencing. At the same time, I’m going through those feelings and writing about them felt like a big task to undertake. So, on this Tuesday, I’m trying to rein in all my strength to prepare for the day and be a support to my clients.
It’s not always easy. Some days are so much better than others. So what do we do when we’re having a bad day? Part of me wants to beat the crap out of those feelings. I suppose this also means beating myself up since they’re coming from me. I’m not going to do that. It’s hard though. It’s hard not to get sucked into the negative aspects of this experience…to remember that this is temporary and will pass.
After spending a great deal of time inside as a precaution I ventured out into society. I imagined this would be a relief. Instead, I wound up feeling more anxious and wishing I never left. I’ve been thinking about that a lot since then. At the same time, I’m trying not to fall down the rabbit hole of predicting possible future outcomes. I’m trying to stay grounded and present in the moment. This is not always easy as I’m sure you’ve guessed and you might be experiencing the same difficulty yourself.
At moments like these, I feel like all our emotions feel magnified. If we’re experiencing a moment of sadness it might feel larger than usual. Our feelings of anxiety can overwhelm us when normally we would just swim through them like a wave. Is anyone out there feeling angry? I know that I am. I suspect it’s a feeling of powerlessness that is the driving force for me. I want to walk down the street and notice things blooming instead of looking at discarded face masks and gloves on the sidewalks. I’d like to be in my office seeing all the clients on my caseload today. Normally, I would take these feelings over to the gym and get to leave some of them there after a decent workout. I’ve never wished I had a treadmill in my apartment more than I do now.
Listen, I would love nothing more than to leave you with a bunch of positive thoughts at this moment. Instead I thought I would just tell you the truth. We are human. I am too. Will things get better? Most definitely. Is it ok to have a bad day or two? Yes, and we all have them. I will continue to look for (and eventually find) the bright side. In the meantime, let me know if you need me to shine a little light your way. I am always up for that.